He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
did you just send me my own nude
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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