something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
