I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
