you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
