and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
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This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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