you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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