Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
