so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
