I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize