I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
