wakey wakey hands off snakey
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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