So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
