I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
