guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
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frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
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You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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