so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize