HIV tests are more positive than that guy
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
