sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She even gives head with a lisp.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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