What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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