He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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