Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got carded by a ten year old.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize