There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
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No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
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If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
All I want is dick and wine.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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