He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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