I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize