thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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