So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
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he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
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Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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