He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
3pm strippers are depressing
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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