Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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