well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
