I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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