yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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