I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
