Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
