Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
