I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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