video games are the ultimate cock blocker
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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