i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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