they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Fuck appropriateness.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
