What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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