dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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