My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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