I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
