Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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