i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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