We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
