is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
