i just wanna soil my oats bro
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
