Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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