I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
