i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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