I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
