Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
