He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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