You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
