Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
